A sense of vocation......if you are a Luther student, this phrase might mean very little to you, as it is sometimes little more than a well-worn phrase used often by the administration as a thinly disguised version of the question, "what are you going to do with your life?" But to others in the Luther community, and to myself, it is much much more than that.

I have the blessing or the curse (not sure, sometimes!) of knowing exactly what I am supposed to do with my life. I do not know specifics, nor do i have an exact plan, but I know what my purpose is, what my job in life is.

To me, a sense of vocation means that there is a constant tug to concentrate less on the things that are petty and short term, and more on the things that matter, the things that touch people, the things that are ephemeral and the things that are often intangible. My, my personal sense of vocation means that I don't look at the task at hand as the most important thing in my life. I look at the people, and do for them what no one else will do. This isn't an ego trip or a superhero complex. Whether others are unwilling or unable, I find myself in the position to do for some what no one else can. And this is what I am supposed to do. I do the things no one else will, and sometimes it ends up hurting me. A lot. But that is the nature of the beast, and I don't think I would have it any other way.

I wonder which is worse, sometimes - not know what one's purpose in life is, or knowing and being unable to achieve it. I think this is one of those things where sometimes ignorance can be bliss. If someone doesn't know what they are meant to do, called by God to do, then they can't feel the frustration when they are unable to do those things and live that life for God.

I wonder sometimes if my upcoming journey to Tanzania will answer some questions for me abut the specifics of my future. I could become inspired, and return to the States knowing exactly what God has planed for me, and tasks and goals in mind. Or, it might simply broaden my horizons of interests that much more, making it even more difficult to discern what I am supposed to do with my life.

Well, folks, here I go

Ha! Not quite yet. I wish. I still have, oh, about 64 more days to wait until I get to hop on that airplane with nine people I barely know and fly across the world with them. I'm scared - wouldn't you be? Oh, don't get me wrong, I am intensely excited!! But I also know that no matter how much preparation I do now, I still won't really understand what I am getting myself into until I am already there. But I am going to get back in the habit of posting here, so that I will remember to once I am over in Tanzania!!